Best Funny Jokes - Latest Hindi English Jokes

अभी CORONA गया नहीं है...!  इसलिए AMITABH जैसे मेरे यारों...  REKHA पार करके घर से बाहर ना JAYA करो...! नहीं तो तुम्हारे स्वास्थ्य का AISHWARYA गुम हो जायेगा, आंसुओं से ABHISHEK होगा और अपने ARADHYA को याद करना पड़ेगा...! इसलिए थोड़े दिन और प्रतीक्षा करो,  फिर जीवन भर जलसा करो...!! -------------------------------------------------------------------- मोंटू- एक मित्र ने Quarantine का अर्थ समझाया... जैसे.. डॉक्टर की डॉक्टराईन, ठाकुर की ठकुराईन.. पंडित की पंडिताइन होती है वैसे ही... कोरोना की कोरोनटाइन होती है... इसलिए कोरोना केवल कोरोनटाइन से डरता है और कुछ नहीं कर पाता! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- बॉस - क्या आपको ब्रिटिश भाषा आती है...? लड़का - हां... बॉस - कुछ बोल के दिखाओ... लड़का - डूगना लागान डेना पडेगा बुवन...! बॉस (गुस्से में)- चल निकल यहा...  ---------------------------------------------------------------------- घर जमाई - आज से मैं रोटी नहीं चावल खाऊंगा...! सास - ऐसा क्यों...? घर जमाई - मोहल्ले वालों के ताने सुनकर थक गय...

हँसते हुए पेट दुखे तो मेरी जवाबदारी नहीं 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘 एक बार कक्षा छठी में चार बालकों को परीक्षा मे समान अंक मिले, . . . . . . . . . अब प्रश्न खडा हुआ कि किसे प्रथम रैंक दिया जाये ...

1. आज आडवाणी और जोशी जी  को भी समझ आ गया होगा कि जब आरक्षण की वजह से 89 वाले का चयन हो जाये और 499 वाला बैठा रह जाये तो कैसा लगता है.... 2. मोदी जी जल्द ही एक नई योजना लोकार्पित करने वाले है ... अ...

Doctor : Your Liver is enlarged Patient : Does that mean it has space for more whisky ? (This is called "Positive Thinking" 😄😄) Lady to her dietician :- What l am worried about is my height and not my weight. Doc :- How come??? Lady :- According to my weight, my height should be 7.8 feet... 😜 (Now this is called "Positive Attitude" 👍) A Man wrote to the bank. "My Cheque was returned with remark 'Insufficient funds'. I want to know whether it refers to mine or the Bank". (This is self confidence in its peak 😂😂) This one is classic !! A cockroach's last words to a man who wanted to kill it : "Go ahead and kill me, you coward. You're just jealous because I can scare your wife and you cannot..!!!!" 😅😅😅

Humour One morning at a doctor's clinic a patient arrives complaining of serious back pain. The doctor examines him and asks him: "Tell me what happened to your back...?" The patient replies: "Sir, I work for a local night club. This morning I went to my apartment early and heard some noise in my bed room. On entering I knew someone had been with my wife and the balcony door was open. I rushed out of the balcony door and did not find anyone. As I looked down from the balcony I saw a man running out and he was dressing himself. I was very angry. I grabbed the fridge and threw it at him. It was very heavy... That is how I strained my back.!" Later that day, a second patient arrives as if he has been in a car wreck. The doctor said: "My previous patient looked bad.. But you look terrible.. What the hell happened to you ?" He replied: "You know I have been unemployed for a while now. Today was the first day at my new job... I forgot t...

लंदन धमाकों के बाद भारतीय टीम तनाव में आ गई है और पाकिस्तानी टीम को घरेलू माहौल मिल गया है। ----------------------------------------------------------- पाकिस्तानी कप्तान हर आधे घंटे में अपने खिलाड़ियों की गिनती कर रहे हैं, ...

Ek ghar me saas-bahu bahot pyar se rehte the.. ek baar ghar me ek guest aya.. bahu ne saas ko uss guest se baat karte suna.. saas keh rhi thi 'Beti shakkar ki tarah hoti h aur bahu namak ki tarah'.. ye sun kar bahu ko bahot bura laga.. wo udas rehne lagi.. jab saas ko is baat ka pata chala to bahu se kaaran puchha.. bahu ne kaaran bataya. Tab saas ne hans kar kaha 'uss baat ka matlab he.. beti shakkar ki tarah hoti h jo har haal me mithi lagti h jabki bahu namak ki tarah hoti h jiska karz nhi chukaya ja sakta Jinke bina har cheez ka swaad be-swaad ho jaata hai"......👌👌👌 So ALL BAHURANIS CHEER UP 😀😘😊😃 YOU ARE THE BEST👍 👌🍃Woman has the most unique character like salt Her presence is never remembered but Her absence makes all the things tasteless !!🐾👍 Pass it to all the lovely ladies..😊

If Girls are pilot (Just for fun) Girl : Hello control tower, this is flight 365 we have a problem. Control Tower : Kya problm hai boliye Girl : Kuch Nai Control Tower : Please bataiye problem Girl : Nai rehne dijiye Control Tower : Please bataiyye Girl : Nothing im fine, aap nai samaj sakte. Control Tower : Arre boliye kya problm hai Girl : Bye block kardo mujhe. Control Tower : Arre diwaani 200 Passengers hai uss plane me. 😂😂😂 Not over yet... Girl : Haa meri toh koi parwa hi nai. Unn 200 ki hai parwa bas. Mujhe nai krni baat... 😂😂

From diary of an IT guy... I urgently needed a few days off work, but, I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave. I thought that I wld do sumthing crazy. So I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker (who's a sardar) asked me what I was doing. I told him that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss might think I was 'Crazy' and would give me a few days off. A  few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked, 'What in the name of good GOD are you doing?' I told him I was a light bulb. He said, 'You are clearly stressed out.' Go home and recuperate for a couple of days.' I  jumped down and walked out of the office.... When my co-worker (the sardar) followed me, Boss asked him, ‘And where do you think you're going?! (You're gonna love this....) He said, 'I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark !!😝😝😝

बच्चा(कहानी सुनने के बाद) माँ से:- माँ मुझे भी तीन रानियाँ चाहिए, एक खाना बनाएगी, दूसरी गाना गाएगी, तीसरी मुझे नहलाएगी.. माँ(मुस्कुराते हुए):- और तू सोएगा किसके साथ? बच्चा:- सोऊँगा त...

Dhamaka 1. Husband और wife दोनों market गए तो एक लड़की ने hello किया.....😊hv Wife :- कौन थी वो..........😡 Husband :- अब तुम प्लीज् दिमाग खराब मत करो अभी उसको भी बताना है की तुम कौन हो ....😜😜😝😛 2. यदि आप सोचते हैं कि काश.. आपकी शादी आपकी साली से ...

टीचर: देखता हूँ मेरे इन पांच प्रश्नों का सबसे पहले उत्तर कौन देता है। 1. दिल्ली में किस पार्टी की सरकार है ? 2. जम्मू कश्मीर की मुख़्य मंत्री कौन है ? 3. अमेरिका के राष्ट्रपति का चुन...

Ek Dukhi Boss ki Kahani: Kal mera Birthday tha, Meri Biwi Bachcho ne mujhe wish nhi kia... Mai office gaya kisi ne wish nhi kia.... Mai apne cabin mei gaya Meri Secretary Romantic style mein boli "Happy Birthday" sweet Boss. <3 Mujhe boht achcha lga Phir usne mujhe apne Flat Pr bulaya aur kaha ki aaj mai apko boht khush karne wali hun.... She said: Mai 2 minutes me Bedroom se aati hun tab tak aap excitment ki tyari ker le.... Kuch deir baad wo 1 boht bade Cake ke sath bahar aayi Us ke peche meri Biwi, Bachche, maa, baap aur pura staff tha.... . . . Aur mai us BC ke intezar me Sofay per Nanga Leta condom chada rha tha . :'(:'(

-THE SECRET Of a Good Husband Once I asked my friend, "What is the secret behind your Happy Married Life?" He said "You should share responsibilities with due love and respect each other. Then absolutely there will be no problems." I asked "Can you explain?" He said "In my house, I take decisions on bigger issues where as my Wife decides on smaller issues. We do not interfere in each other's decisions." Still not convinced, i asked him "Give me some examples". He said "Smaller issues like, which car we should buy, how much amount to save, when to visit the super market, when & where to go on vacation, which sofa, air conditioner, refrigerator to buy. Monthly expenses, whether to keep a maid or not etc. Are all decided by my wife. I just agree to it " I asked "Then, what is your role?" He said "My decisions are only for very big issues. Like whether America should attack Iran, whether Britain shou...

Dear Shikhar Dhawan,  Firstly, congratulations on team India's 130 run victory against South Africa. T hat is very much appreciated. We are pleased to announce that you have been awarded a rating of 'C' (Average Performer) for this match.  We realised that your score of 137 was not required when India could win by 130 runs anyway. Only 7 runs from you were needed for the win.  We thank you for your efforts and we wish you all the best for rest of the series. Should you have any questions on the appraisal system, please feel free to contact us during your net practice.  - HR Manager

😝😝Alia bhatt: Hey dad, what plans for weekend ? Mahesh bhatt: Income Tax Returns        Alia bhatt: Hey first part kab release hua tha? Mahesh bhatt:  jaa meri ma, tu shooting pe jaa!!! Died Laughing.... 😜😜😱😝👏😊👍😝😝 100 metre ki race ho rahi thi... Referee said '1,2,3 GO!'... Everybody started running except Alia bhatt. Referee - y r u not running...? Alia - My number is 4 😝😝😝😝😝 ----------------------------- SBI Bank: Humara bank aapko bina interest ke loan de raha hai.... Alia bhat:  Agar dene mein interest hi nahi hai to kyu de rahe ho? Nahi chahiye.... 😜😝😜😝👏 ----------------------------- Once there was a mirror that killed anyone who lied.. FRENCH : I think I dont smoke (died) AMERICAN : I think I love my wife (died) ALIA BHATT: I think.. (died)😝 😱👍😊😜😝😝 ----------------------------- Alia bhatt and varun dhawan are walking on a road, and they find a 1000 rupee note lying down. Alia - what should we do now? Varun- we'll take 50:50...

Winter Shayari (Crazy one) Arz kiya hai.. Baith k toilet mein nawab k jaise.... sardi k mausam mein sochtaa hu aise... Baith k toilet mein nawab k jaise.... sardi k mausam mein sochtaa hu aise "Ki kar to li hai tune beta.... abb thande paani se dhoega Kaise....😂💦 😝😝😝😝 Happy Winter 🚽🚽🚽🚽

Attutid dekho😀😀 एक मन्दिर  के  सामने  1 गाय ,1 गधा और 1 गधी घास  खा  रहे थे  ...   मन्दिर  मे  आने  वाले लोग   गाय को हाथ  लगाकर नमस्कार  कर  रहे  थे ... यह  देखकर गधी गधे  से  बोली: "सब  गाय को ही  हाथ  लगाकर चले जाते है पर मुझे  कोई हाथ नहीं  लगाता ... ???" गधा:  मैडम  आपके  साथ आपका हीरो  है  किसकी  मजाल जो मेरे होते  आपको हाथ लगाए..

Son: Seekh gaya, seekh gaya.... Idea Internet Network (IIN) se main bhi banana sikh gaya.... Father: Kya? Drone banana..? Son: Nahi, Chutiya banana...

 Boy - गले में लाल टाई, घर में एक चारपाई, तकिया एक और हम दो,  एक ही है रज़ाई Girl- भैया, आप अपने सोने का देखे, मेरे लायक सब मौजूद है यहाँ