Best Funny Jokes - Latest Hindi English Jokes

If u want to have some extra excitement during a roller coaster ride, carry few nuts n bolts wid u.. Let d coaster reach d max height.. Den tap d person infrnt of u n say "ye aapki seat se nikle hai"

Some girls while driving cars play inky pinky ponky so that they can locate the brakes correctly ----------------------------- Alok Nath:Baccho office ke liye tayyar ho jaao. Vivek,Prem,Vinod: Haan,bas 32 minute dijiye ek gaana gaa le saare pariwar aur kutte ke saath -------------------------- Normal Guys: '36 ayegi 36 Jayegi But Meri Wali To Meri Mummy Hi Laegi'  Reality : 'Bas Aap Meri Gf Ban Jao,Chaho To Recharge Karwa Diya Karunga'  Me: 'Ek Bhi Nahi Aayi To 36 Kaha Se Aayegi,Meri Wali To Meri Mummy Bhi Nahi La Paygi Smart Hu,Khud Dhoon Kar Launga Mai Docomo 2g Use Karta Hu,Uska Kya Ghanta recharge Karwaunga 

I am not saying I am the best. I only know that I am doing my best to be the best. ----------------------------------------------- People with attitude are rich by pocket but poor by heart  ---------------------------------------------- STATUS are meant for WINNERS Not for LOSSER  ---------------------------------------------- Born with winner Quality's  ---------------------------------------------- When you think there is nothing left in your life,just keep working hard until you die :)

Sonia Gandhi is with the Queen of England. Sonia: "Your Majesty, any tips you can give me to stay in power the way you have been for so long?" "Well," said the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people." Sonia frowned, and then asked, "But how do I know the people around me are intelligent?" The Queen: "Easy; you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle." The Queen pushed a button on her intercom. "David Cameron, would you come in here, please?" David Cameron walked into the room and said, "Yes, ma'am?" The Queen smiled and said, "Answer me this please, David. Your mother and father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?" Without pausing for a moment, David Cameron answered, "That would be me, ma'am." "Very good! Thank you, David !" said the Queen. Then she turned to Sonia with a smile and said

I love <3 being in that mood where everything is hilarious... ----------------------------------------------- Dekh bhai...Jo karna hai kar... Candy crush ki request na bhej.. ----------------------------------------------- Hum Woh Sikander hain, Jo Sab ko rakhte hain apne Dil ke andar.... ----------------------------------------------- I want everything, but i want that with you! <3 ----------------------------------------------- Short walk is much beautiful den long drive with sumone...<3 ----------------------------------------------- People who hate u r the ones who view your profile the most..✌️ ----------------------------------------------- Pride in my pocket and ego in my bank !

Man : my wife is too good. She can talk on any subject for hours. Friend : Ahh!!! my wife is better, She does not even need a subject."

Girlfriend : I am pregnant . . . . . . . Boyfriend : Is it mine ?. . . . . . . Girlfriend : Nahi ,Undertaker aaya tha ye kaand karne.. ---------------------------------------------- Vishwas : Hum honge kamyaab, ek din Girl : Ho Ho mann mein hai Vishwas, poora hai Vishwas Vishwas : Hatt pagli love you too ----------------------------------------------- Jackie Shroff: Beta, 24 saal ka hogaya hai tu. Tujhe mooche aur daadhi kab aaayegi? Tiger Shroff: Sabki jaati nahi, meri aati nahi.

Diwali is coming nearby All the whatsapp group admin should recieve an iPhone 6 or iPhone 6 plus from their group members thru contributuon because 1) sabse gandi dikhne waale ladki admin ki gf if admin is male and sabse ganda dikhne wala ladka admin ka bf if admin is female 2) occasion chahe jo bhi ho, party toh admin hee dega 3) galti chahe kisi ki bhi ho, differences sort out admin karega Last but not the least 4) koi bhi group chodne ki dhamki de, toh sorry bolke manana admin ka duty Itni saari takleefon ko jhelne k liye, admin ko bhi toh advance phone with latest technology chahiye taaki uska whatsapp kabhi slow na chale 

What will be the WhtsApp status of Sonam Kapoor's husband after their first night?? . . . . 'ना हाथ आया,ना मुह लगा'

The sun may light up the earth but my life is lit up by friends like you. Good morning. ----------------------------------------------- Good Morning, My Dear.. May You Wake Up Into A Beautiful Day With A Beautiful Smile, New Hopes And Joy In Abundance.. Have A Nice Day.. ----------------------------------------------- Every Morning I Thank Heavenly Father, for Loving me enough to Bless me with Answered Prayers and for Loving me enough to Protect me for unanswered prayers!!! GOOD MORNING ---------------------------------------------- You Feel The Soft Little Hands Lying On Your Skin. The Bubbling Sounds Of The Sweet Little Angels Has Filled Up Your Ears. What A Great Day To Start Ahead, Awaken By The Children. Have a Wonderful Morning!

New Diseases of Whatsapp users.....  1.Wrong post in wrong group syndrome 2.Non-reading earlier post dystrophy 3. Repeated posting neurosis 4. Late replying psychosis 5. Non-immune religionitis 6. Sudden disappearancitis.

Girl : I'll ask you some random calculations. And you have to answer me right away! Boy : All right. Girl : 18 multiplied by 7 and then add 49 to it. You get? Boy : 175. Girl : Pretty nice! And now 175+567=? Boy : 742 Girl : And 742-673=? And you get? Boy : And you get the fuck thing when you and I match our mouths to each other's genitals. 69 No matter how intelligent your Man is, he'd remain a Man still.

Now for few boys abusing few other boys out there like... Teri ma ko chod denge... Teri behen ko chod denge. . Dekh teri behen ka pet kyu ful rha hai..  Hum tmhre baap hai...  And all..  Be... Aukat mei rahiyo. Na tu Hamara baap hai. Na tera khada hota hai.  To zada udd mat. Bachpana gaya naii hai. Jawani k sapne dekh rhe hai. Gaali k naam pe... Lage hai ma behen jese pure relations ko abuse krne mei. Hum ldkiya sharafat bhul gai na..  Sadko pe nanga dodaynge.  Gali dena hai do. Ma behen pe na aayo.  MA KASAM GAAND FAAD DENGE

एक बंदा अपने MICROMAX फ़ोन से गूगल पर  I PHONE 6 की कीमत सर्च कर रहा था ..... गूगल replied ----  भोसड़ी के अपनी ऒकात में रह ....

A Man On A Beach Wearing Nothing But A Cap Over His Privates. An Old Woman Passed By And Remarked Lady: “If You Were Any Sort Of A Gentleman, You Would Lift Your Hat To A Lady” He Replied: “If You Were Any Sort Of A Lady, The Hat Would Have Lifted Itself“

Hr Raat unko yaad karke sota ha ye dil Hr raat unke yaad me kuch Gunguna k sota ha ye dil . . Hr raat palke Bheego k sota ha ye dil Hr raat unke Tasveer seene se Laga k sota ha ye dil . . Paa Lunga unki Chut kbhi na kbhi bus yehi Sapne Sanjo k hila leta ha ye dil....

A Sick Leave letter from Pasha Bhai to his Manager Dear Manager Saheb Sending you this leave  letter  I will  not come  as my  eyes have come  '  if I come with  my  eyes coming  then  your eyes  will come  & you will not come  as  then  Still   if you  come with  your  coming  eyes all eyes  will come  & all  will not  come  . so  I will  not come   and all  will  come .  I  will come  back  when  my  coming eyes  will  go & all will  come  without their eyes coming Yours  Sincerely Pasaha Bhai na Jai Ambe... 

Little Johnny runs into his house and asks, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?" "No," says his mom, "Of course not." After Little Johnny runs back outside, his mom hears him yell to his friend, "It's OK, we can keep on playing!"

Unexpected text messages from the person you care about can have a positive affect on your body and instantly improve your mood. ----------------------------------------------- Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you I had no control over. ----------------------------------------------- When you really care about someone, their happiness matters more than yours. ----------------------------------------------- A nice Message written on a balloon, which was flying high up in the sky... It is not what is OUTSIDE, but  what's INSIDE that takes you to the TOP. ----------------------------------------------- Give thanks today for those who did you wrong. They unknowingly made you strong. ----------------------------------------------- The thing is, when she falls, she falls hard, and no matter how many times she says i don't care... she really does. ---------------------------------------------- When a girl's heart has been broken ove

गब्बर के अड्डे पर... धिच्क्यु,धिच्क्यु.... गब्बर: ये भी बच गया! तेरा क्या होगा कालिया? कालिया: मुझे मत मारो सरदार , मैंने आपका नमक खाया है . गब्बर: सफ़ेद नमक या काला नमक ? कालिया: सफ़ेद. गब्बर: आयोडीन था क्या उसमे? कालिया: हाँ. गब्बर: दाना दाना एक समान? कालिया: जी हाँ... गब्बर: ISI मार्क है क्या? कालिया: हाँ. गब्बर: 'दूकान' से लिया या 'सुपर मार्केट' से या सरकारी डिपो से? कालिया: गावं वालों ने दिया सरदार. गब्बर: MRP देखा था क्या? कालिया: हाँ. गब्बर: एक्सपायरी डेट भी देखी थी क्या ? कालिया: हाँ सरदार.. गब्बर: टाटा था या निरमा ? कालिया: सरदार , मै नमक हराम हूँ... मुझे गोली मार दो.......।।।

दादाजी- देख वैशाली तुझसे छोटी है फिर भी उसके 98% Me- आप भी नरेन्द्र मोदी को देखो, आप से भी छोटा है फिर भी वो प्रधानमंत्री है  *slaps*

हमारे ग्रुप एडमिन की दर्द भरी कहानी उसी की जुबानी- भोसड़ी वालों एक तो ग्रुप बनाया...  तुम सब को जोड़ा...  अपने बच्चों की तरह समझा...  कभी किसी मे भेदभाव नहीं किया... ग्रुप एडमिन होने के सारे फ़र्ज़ निभाता हूँ ... रोज़ नये नये जोक्स भेजता हूँ...  ज्ञान की बाते भेजता हूँ...  ब्लू फिल्म भेजता हूँ...  नंगी तस्वीरे भेजता हूँ...  तुम्हें मुट्ठ मारना सिखाया ... चोदना सिखाया... मुर्गे कुकड़ू कु बोले  उस से पहले तुम्हें Good Morning बोलता हूँ...  तुम अपना मोबाइल रिचार्ज करो या नहीं...  मे हर हर महीने 600 का 3g पैक करता हूँ...  सिर्फ तुम्हारे लिए ; लेकिन ... तुम लोग मेरी ही गांड मारने पर तुले हो...  हमारा एडमिन ये  हमारा एडमिन वो हमारा एडमिन ऐसा हमारा एडमिन वैसा हमारा एडमिन चुतिया हमारा एडमिन गांडु हमारा एडमिन लोड़ू  हमारा एडमिन लोडे जैेसा हमारा एडमिन फलाना ढिगङा लिखते रहते हो...  अरे ग्रुप ही तो बनाया है,  कोई पाप थोङे किया है...  और वो आजकल का फेमस जोक...  "पूरी रात में तकिया नहीं हटा सका  तो पेड़ क्या घंटा हटायगा"

Apna wallet nikalo aur usme se 1000 ke note nikalo. Gandhi ji ke photo ko dekh ke bolo "Happy Birdday, Bapu....",  woh note leke milo shaamko, Bapu ka birthday celebrate karenge......!