A man was preparing to go on a long ADVENTURE trip, so he thought he'd buy his wife something to keep her occupied.
He went to a sex shop and explained his situation. The clerk said, 'Well, I don't know that I have anything that will keep her occupied for so many weeks, except... the Magic Penis!'
The husband said, 'The what'?
The clerk repeated, 'The Magic Penis,' and pulled out what seemed to be an ordinary dildo.
The husband laughed, and said, 'It looks to me like a plain old dildo!'
The clerk pointed to the door and Said, 'Magic Penis, door!'
The penis arose from its box, darted over to the door and started pounding away at the keyhole.
The whole door shook wildly with vibrations. So much so,that a crack began to form down the middle.
Then the clerk said, 'Magic Penis, return to your box!'
The penis stopped and returned to the box.
The husband was delighted, bought it and took it home to his wife. After the husband had been gone for a few days, the wife remembered the Magic Penis.
She undressed, opened the box and said 'Magic Penis, my crotch.'
The penis shot like a rocket to her crotch. It was absolutely incredible. After three mind shattering orgasms, she became totally exhausted and decided she'd had enough. She tried to pull it out, but it was stuck.
Her husband had neglected to tell her how to turn it off.
So she got dressed, went to her car and headed out for the nearest hospital.
Along the way, "Magic" kept the action going; she had another incredibly intense orgasm, making her swerve all over the road.
A roadside patrol officer saw this and immediately pulled her over.
He asked for her licence, and then questioned her as to how much she'd had to drink.
Still gasping and twitching, the woman said, 'I haven't had anything to drink officer.
You see, I've got this Magic Penis dildo stuck in my crotch and it won't stop screwing me.'
The officer looked at her for a second, shook his head and replied,
'Yeah right ... Magic Penis, my ass ! '
... And the rest, as they say, is history.