1.Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
2.My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects.
3.Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings".
4.There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men -'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together == 'don't stop'!
5.Panties are not the best thing on earth, but next to best thing on earth.
6.There are three stages to sex in a person's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.
7.Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
8.Q : What's an Australian kiss?
A : The same thing as a French kiss, only down under
A : The same thing as a French kiss, only down under
9.A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and She was happy with the Thing.
10.Q : What are the three biggest tragedies in a man's life?
A : Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn't!
A : Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn't!
11.Teacher: Use "harassment" in a sentence.
Johnny: Her mouth said no, but "her ass meant" yes.
Johnny: Her mouth said no, but "her ass meant" yes.
12.Q : What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A : A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps with everyone except you.
A : A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps with everyone except you.
13.Q : Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A : Breasts don't have eyes.......
A : Breasts don't have eyes.......
14.Despite the old saying, "Don't take your troubles to bed", many men still sleep with their wives!
15. When I was born, I got a choice A big dick or a good memory. I am not able to remember, what did I choose?