1. Kamasutra says : f you suck one nipple,the women herself offers the other one. And that was the origin of "buy one get one free"!
2.Did you ever notice: everything on a woman's upper body starts with a "B". Blouse, Bra, Bikini, Boobs & lower body with a "P" Petticoat, pants, panties, pussy....
No wonder why men suffer from high B P !!!
Vulgar but true so its worth reading...
#...Before sex, you help each other get naked. After sex, you dress only yourself..
Moral: In life no one helps you, once you're fucked.
#...Success is like pregnancy. Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got fucked to achieve it.
#...What is the difference between frustration and satisfaction?
What the Fuck! and What a Fuck!
#...3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you 'HANDSOME', don't take it as a compliment!
#...Life is like a dick, sometimes it becomes hard for no reason.
#...Practical thought:
A husband is supposed to make his wife's panties wet, not her eyes. A wife is supposed to make her husband's dick hard, not his life..!
Officer: madam swimming is prohibited in this lake.
Lady: then why dint you tell me when I was removing my clothes?
Officer: well, that's not prohibited.
---
Boy: if I kiss you and run away then what will you think?
Girl: I will think that a fool instead of attending the full paper just attended the one mark alone and failed.
---
Teacher: explain responsibility.
Student: mam your blouse has four buttons, if three buttons break down the entire responsibility will be on the fourth one.
---
Advertisement by Panty Company: we are not the best in the world but we are closest to the best thing in the world.
---
A note in the sex magazines shop: please hold the magazines with both hands while reading.
---
Why do women put red lipstick on their mouth? To inform men stop this is not right hole.
---
Teacher: why does cow look tense after giving milk? Student: madam, if someone presses your breast for hours and doesn't f***, how wud you feel?
---
A boy and his buffalo go to a river to take bath. As he removes his clothes buffalo laughs at him.
He asked: why are you laughing at me?
Buffalo: your tail's in front.
---
Girl: what do you like in me?
Boy: those two balls having black dots in center.
Girl: you rascal are you with me for that?
Boy: yes, I like your eyes.
---
Wife dreaming in the night suddenly shouts "quickly my husband is back" man get up, jumps out of the window and realizes, dammit I am the husband.
---
Customer: my wife needs a bra but I don't know the size
Salesgirl: touch my breast and try to estimate
Customer: oh I forgot she needs panties too.
---
Misuse of English: a diagram in a book was not clear. So teacher drew the diagram on the blackboard and announced. Don't look at the book figure, look at my figure.
---
Husband and wife are like two tyres of a vehicle. Even if one punctures, the vehicle can't move further. So intelligent people always keep spare tyres.
---
Boy saw a lady with big breasts.
He asks: can I bite them for $1000?
She says ok. they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse.
The boy kisses, licks, puts his face in them, presses them hard for 10 minutes
Lady asks: aren't you gonna bite them?
He replies: no, it's too costly.
---
A guy picks up a girl for a date. Guy: why are you wearing your belt around your knee? Girl: I promised my mom that I wouldn't let you touch me below my belt.
---
Who is senior...female sex organ or male sex organ? Answer: female sex organ because male sex organ always stands up when he sees a female sex organ, respecting the senior.
---
A college girl was in jeans with the zip open. A Boy gapes at the girl and says: Miss please close your taj mahal door. my qutub minar is dancing here.
---
What's common between sun and women underwear? Both are hot, both look good while going down, both disappear by night.
---
One man gets married to a lady traffic police. Friend asks how your 1st night was. She collected Rs.100 from me for over speed, Rs.200 for wrong side entry, Rs.500 for no helmet.
---
Do you know why girls wear a shawl on top of their churidar, because it's Indian tradition to cover all eating and drinking things when not in use.
---
Completing engineering is like a pregnancy ....everyone will appreciate the outcome, but no one knows how many attempts were made.
---
Kid by chance enters into parents bedroom and is shocked at what he sees. He shouts at his mom and you scold me for just sucking the thumb.
---
Midnight hot: After 1st night. Husband: dear what do you think about our first night? Wife: darling 5% pain, 5% enjoyment and 90% old memories.
---
Contest in a girl's college: write a short essay that contains religion, sex and mystery. Winner essay: oh god, I am pregnant, I wonder who did it.
---
A boy wanted to have sex with girl friend ashamed of his small sex organ decided to bring girl friend in dark place opened his zip and put his sex organ on girl friend hands.
Girl friend: No thanks,
2.Did you ever notice: everything on a woman's upper body starts with a "B". Blouse, Bra, Bikini, Boobs & lower body with a "P" Petticoat, pants, panties, pussy....
No wonder why men suffer from high B P !!!
Vulgar but true so its worth reading...
#...Before sex, you help each other get naked. After sex, you dress only yourself..
Moral: In life no one helps you, once you're fucked.
#...Success is like pregnancy. Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got fucked to achieve it.
#...What is the difference between frustration and satisfaction?
What the Fuck! and What a Fuck!
#...3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you 'HANDSOME', don't take it as a compliment!
#...Life is like a dick, sometimes it becomes hard for no reason.
#...Practical thought:
A husband is supposed to make his wife's panties wet, not her eyes. A wife is supposed to make her husband's dick hard, not his life..!
Officer: madam swimming is prohibited in this lake.
Lady: then why dint you tell me when I was removing my clothes?
Officer: well, that's not prohibited.
---
Boy: if I kiss you and run away then what will you think?
Girl: I will think that a fool instead of attending the full paper just attended the one mark alone and failed.
---
Teacher: explain responsibility.
Student: mam your blouse has four buttons, if three buttons break down the entire responsibility will be on the fourth one.
---
Advertisement by Panty Company: we are not the best in the world but we are closest to the best thing in the world.
---
A note in the sex magazines shop: please hold the magazines with both hands while reading.
---
Why do women put red lipstick on their mouth? To inform men stop this is not right hole.
---
Teacher: why does cow look tense after giving milk? Student: madam, if someone presses your breast for hours and doesn't f***, how wud you feel?
---
A boy and his buffalo go to a river to take bath. As he removes his clothes buffalo laughs at him.
He asked: why are you laughing at me?
Buffalo: your tail's in front.
---
Girl: what do you like in me?
Boy: those two balls having black dots in center.
Girl: you rascal are you with me for that?
Boy: yes, I like your eyes.
---
Wife dreaming in the night suddenly shouts "quickly my husband is back" man get up, jumps out of the window and realizes, dammit I am the husband.
---
Customer: my wife needs a bra but I don't know the size
Salesgirl: touch my breast and try to estimate
Customer: oh I forgot she needs panties too.
---
Misuse of English: a diagram in a book was not clear. So teacher drew the diagram on the blackboard and announced. Don't look at the book figure, look at my figure.
---
Husband and wife are like two tyres of a vehicle. Even if one punctures, the vehicle can't move further. So intelligent people always keep spare tyres.
---
Boy saw a lady with big breasts.
He asks: can I bite them for $1000?
She says ok. they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse.
The boy kisses, licks, puts his face in them, presses them hard for 10 minutes
Lady asks: aren't you gonna bite them?
He replies: no, it's too costly.
---
A guy picks up a girl for a date. Guy: why are you wearing your belt around your knee? Girl: I promised my mom that I wouldn't let you touch me below my belt.
---
Who is senior...female sex organ or male sex organ? Answer: female sex organ because male sex organ always stands up when he sees a female sex organ, respecting the senior.
---
A college girl was in jeans with the zip open. A Boy gapes at the girl and says: Miss please close your taj mahal door. my qutub minar is dancing here.
---
What's common between sun and women underwear? Both are hot, both look good while going down, both disappear by night.
---
One man gets married to a lady traffic police. Friend asks how your 1st night was. She collected Rs.100 from me for over speed, Rs.200 for wrong side entry, Rs.500 for no helmet.
---
Do you know why girls wear a shawl on top of their churidar, because it's Indian tradition to cover all eating and drinking things when not in use.
---
Completing engineering is like a pregnancy ....everyone will appreciate the outcome, but no one knows how many attempts were made.
---
Kid by chance enters into parents bedroom and is shocked at what he sees. He shouts at his mom and you scold me for just sucking the thumb.
---
Midnight hot: After 1st night. Husband: dear what do you think about our first night? Wife: darling 5% pain, 5% enjoyment and 90% old memories.
---
Contest in a girl's college: write a short essay that contains religion, sex and mystery. Winner essay: oh god, I am pregnant, I wonder who did it.
---
A boy wanted to have sex with girl friend ashamed of his small sex organ decided to bring girl friend in dark place opened his zip and put his sex organ on girl friend hands.
Girl friend: No thanks,