Funny Collection of Jokes and SMS 01 October 2013

Height of irritating someone:"

Boy:" pen hai ??
Girl:" nahi..

Thodi der baad..
Boy:" pen hai ??
Girl:" nahi bola na..
Boy:" pen hai pen ??
Girl:" nahi hai kaminey, aur abki bar pucha to
to hathode se sar phod dungi
Kuch der baad...
Boy:" hathoda hai kya..???
Girl:" nahi..
Boy:" accha.. to phir pen hai pen..???..
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A guy calls an unknown number..
Guy: Fridge hai?
Reply: Haan hai.
Guy: Chalta hai?
Reply: Haan chalta hai..
Guy: Toh pakad ke rakhna, warna bhaag jaayega..
And he hangs up.. After a while, he calls up again..
Guy: Fridge hai?
This time the person's really angry.
Reply: Nahi hai.
Guy: Kahaan se hoga.. Bola tha na pakad ke rakhna varna bhaag jaayega..

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A man in USA sees a dog attacking a girl!

He kicks the dog, it dies!

Newspapers report
"LOCAL HERO SAVES LADY FROM DOG"

Man says i'm not American

Report changed

"Foreign Hero Saves girl from Dog"

Man says:
Actually I'm Pakistani

Breaking News:

"Terrorist killed Innocent Dog which was playing with a girl" 

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Heart melting love story:

Boy: I can't marry u.
My family is totally against it.
Girl: Who r they 2 stop u?
Boy: My wife & 2 kids.  
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White House receptionist to OBAMA..
"Sir..someone has called up but not speaking anything"
OBAMA - Tell him Namaste !!
He must be Manmohan Sing from INDIA 

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Dr:Kaise aana hua?

Patient: Doctorsaab tabiyat theek nahi hain

Dr: Sharab peete ho?

Patient: Peeta to hoon, par chhota peg hi banana. I'm not feeling well !

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Teacher-How many planets are there?
Santa -Mercury, Venus, Jupiter vagerah. Vagerah

Teacher-Aur batao?

Santa-Aur bas ...sab badhiya!!! Ekdum

Mata raani ki kripa....
Aap sunao...??

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Dost:Biwi se Jhagda Solve hua kya?
Husband:Ghutno pe Chal k Aayi thi Mere Paas..ghutno pe.
Dost: kya baat kar raha hai..
Husband: aur nahi to kya..
Dost:Kya Boli?
Husband:Boli Palang k Neeche se baahar aa jao, Ab Nahi Maarungi..