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Funny BlackBerry Whatsapp Message 06 Oct 2013

Had a Blackberry phone but got angry and sold
it because it was eating much of my money. I then
went and bought a china phone but am now in a
very big trouble.
1. It gets full after 3 minutes of charging.
2. The phone has TV, Touch screen, Nail cutter,
firelighter etc.
3. Text messages can be written with a toothpick.
4. It has some spelling mistakes, it is written on
NokLa instead of Nokia.
5. When an aeroplane passes by it records "one
missed call".
6. When a big truck hoots; it records “charger
connected”
7. When a Chinese man passes by you it says
"one Bluetooth device found"
8. When a cute guy passes by me, it says "Ur
favorite food found"
9. When an ugly man passes by me, it says, "Virus
detected".
Please, I want to sell it, who wants to buy it?"
Now which phone shud I buy?